COOKIE MELTDOWN: St. Patrick's Day 2011

Have you ever used one of these? Well, don't. Just take this little piece of kitchen history and put it on a shelf as a display. It's much better as a display than a cookie press.

I had this grand idea for little crinkly green shamrock cookies and cutesy-ass photos but like all grand ideas, they never quite work. It's only the ideas where I think, "meh. I guess this might work", that actually work.

So I kept stuffing the dough into the press, then scraping out the dough and softening it up with egg whites then I'd squish it all back in and twist and turn the knob and, let's just say it was nearly impossible to produce uniform results no matter what I did. Only about a quarter of the time, did it produce these (I'm sorry I iced them. They look prettier iced). The other three quarters of the time, it produced three lumps or one large indiscriminate puddle.

Then the pump started getting greasy and my hand was getting sore from twisting that tiny poorly shaped knob (also greasy and impossible to grip), and after I had to redo one cookie about five times so I could actually fill a whole pan, I decided to use a cookie cutter. The dough was not made for cookie cutters, but I did my best.

There's really no reason to give you the recipe cuz it tastes exactly like a plain ol' sugar cookie with about three extra egg whites in it. This cookie has a lot of egg whites in it.

I also wouldn't have tinted the dough had I thought I'd be icing them. I also would have just made a proper sugar cookie recipe. Or shortbread with a green cherry pressed into the top. Or nothing. Cuz those ideas are all much better ones. And just to prove how much I didn't think I'd be icing them, I had exactly 3/4 of a cup of icing sugar in the entire house. So I even had to walk over to save-on to get more just so I could haphazardly do this.

here's the best artistic presentation (of the four better looking cookies) I could muster

here's my actual going-to-work presentation (yup. I let these bad boys out of the house). If you stand up and walk to the far side of the room you're in and squint a bit, they kinda look like clovers. So that's something.

I also made Irish potato candy as a back-up which, incidentally, I think look more like turds than potatoes, so I immediately started imagining scenarios where Idle Husband would have to constantly explain that they're Irish potatoes and not turds. Your wife made us turds?! How... thoughtful?

About the potato candy, it's very hard work and pretty tiring (remember, I'd just baked and iced 50+ shamrock cookies). I know it says it's an easy no-bake recipe, but this is something I'd only be making for special occasions. Trying to stir all of that together is by no means a simple task. I used good ol' arm power (as instructed), but I'll definitely be going with the stand mixer if I do it again. Good thing I have some of that nonslip drawer liner. It helped tremendously by keeping the bowl steady. I'm just really happy the recipe didn't produce very many candies (it probably would have had I not gotten tired of making them small) since the rolling is pretty tedius, too.

I think it's pretty impossible to ever get them looking like potatoes, so I figure you might as well embrace it. I'm thinking about making them as a Christmas gift next year. Reindeer poops or Snowman eyes or some other festive nonsense. If I can find black cocoa, they'd work as coal, too (oh man, cocoa and cinnamon for the win).

The potato candy is so friggin' delicious and amazing and fantastic, so we kept them (but only for the reasons mentioned above -- eh hem). We will properly appreciate their potato-like shape and will modestly enjoy one with a cup of tea after dinner (because that's how we enjoy desserts around here. Yes, sir, I swear).

if spring won't come to you, you go to it

even if it is just in the greenhouse at Rona

menu for two

Want to know the funny thing that happened when I started writing about our menu? I stopped being motivated to make a menu! Weird, right? So I've been feeling very stifled and uninspired and disinterested about dinner lately which isn't good for us (this sort of thing eventually evolves into ice cream meals and Greek chips for breakfast).

So this will be my last menu for two. If you're using the menus or finding them helpful and don't want them to go, I could definitely figure out an alternative. Let me know in the comments!

This week was asian-style cuisine week as I was on my own until Friday.

{the menu}

monday: beef with broccoli

tuesday: vegetable spring rolls with leftover peanut butter dressing for dipping

wednesday: stir-fried chicken with ketchup and quinoa

thursday: mushroom ichiban

friday: ginger beef and rice

saturday: gyros and all the fixings

sunday: baked hotdogs and a salad

what really happened

{monday} This was so good and tasted like the real thing -- only fresher and better cuz it's homemade. The only thing I really did differently was the omission of the sherry and addition of some chopped almonds. I was reading about cashews in the comments, and I thought that would be good, but alas. I only had almonds. I was really worried about the broccoli being undercooked, but it turned out so right. Not raw, not soggy, just right.
{tuesday} I wanted to get some extra vegetables for these, so I walked over to Save-On foods, and got what I needed for veg and then I remembered there was something else I wanted for my wraps. I wandered around trying to think of it, but I just couldn't. Agonizing. I figured it must not have been that important, so I trudged back home. While I was making them, I remembered that it was shrimp or fake crab or some sort of seafood I wanted just to round out the meal. So basically, I had carrot and cucumber sticks wrapped up in rice paper (I even forgot about adding noodles!) for dinner which I dipped into the leftover dressing from Sunday (I prefer this a lot more than the hoisin dipping sauce. Hoisin makes me queasy after a while). And after eating my veggie wraps (I had six of them!) I was still so hungry, I had two bowls of rice krispie cereal and some dates and almonds and then (not surprisingly) I felt completely sick all night. Smooth.
{wednesday} I was originally going to make an orange chicken recipe I found, but I realized I didn't have any oranges or orange juice on account of Idle Husband not being here and me not thinking to buy that stuff cuz he's not here. So I decided to guinea pig myself and go with this strange concoction. For some odd reason, I went into the recipe thinking there would be something more than ketchup to make the ketchup not taste like ketchup and when there was nothing else, I thought I'd ruined some pretty nice looking chicken. But no! Ketchup fried chicken was so. friggin. amazing. If I had more, I would eat it right now while typing this. I would spread the sauce on sandwiches. I would dip chicken fingers into it. I would serve it as a side to steak. The ketchup morphed from that typical ketchup taste and turned into something magical. And don't get me wrong. I love the taste of ketchup. I once had a roommate from the states and that's all she ever joked about. Oh you Canadians and your ketchup. But I don't think I'm as extreme as some. Blech to ketchup chips (yes; those exist) and never to ketchup on chicken. Well. Consider me converted. And did you think the quinoa was a weird addition? So did I while I was making it, but it worked surprisingly well. The quinoa bits coated each chicken piece, making them feel a little more substantial and it tasted great with the sauce mixed in. And since quinoa is so filling, I was really satisfied and full afterwards (and I had less chicken than the recipe called for). I'll definitely make this again especially since this whole meal took about 15 minutes to prepare and would easily make anyone think you'd been marinating and combining ingredients all day.
{thursday} This was good and all, but I probably won't do it again. I just didn't love it. I used dry mushrooms, washed them, and softened them in hot water which gave me a mushroom broth. And I used that along with water to cook the noodles. It was filling, but nothing to write about. Needed more salt.
{friday} Idle Husband's back for dinner. Good thing we've already established that he likes ginger beef! This was actually pretty darned close to real ginger beef. Unfortunately, mine was sweet with no hint of spice like proper ginger beef should have. I guess I really have to buy some chili pepper flakes. It's starting to get desperate. There's also a LOT of sugar in this recipe (I realized as making it), so I probably would cut down on that so it's slightly less sweet and I'd have liked the sauce to be thicker. It was like water which bugged me. Presentation-wise, this looked exactly like ginger beef. And aside for my addition of snow peas instead of peppers and red wine vinegar instead of rice vinegar and optional wine, I followed everything else to the letter and served it over rice. Oh and it took a long time to cook all of the meat, but I was going in with everything partially frozen so that probably had something to do with it.
{saturday} Gyros! God. I made this recipe back on January 30th and we're still eating it. This is the fourth and last meal we'll get. Pretty good, I think.
{sunday} I just wanted to get the last of the hotdogs and buns out of the freezer and gone. The baked hotdog excitement is starting to wear off, honestly. Probably because we never have tried it with proper chili and because last night I realized we didn't have an ounce of cheese in the house. I used Cheez Whiz (we bought a tiny jar one time when I found out Idle Husband had never had it before) and it just wasn't the same. Plus I overcooked them slightly, so the buns were like crunchy croutons.

sugar coated fennel

I was wandering around Save-On Foods the other day trying to get acquainted with their aisles (always a good thing to do when you're going to shop a new store), and I found myself in the ethnic spice section.

Am I the only one who loves spice sections? I love looking at all of the different kinds, some I know and some I don't. I really wish manufacturers would print some information about each spice on the back of their bags. That would be really helpful and would satiate my curiosity without me having to google it (it would also leave me standing in spice sections all day as if they were a library).

So that's where I spotted these colourful little things. Sugar coated fennel seeds, basically whole fennel seeds covered in a candy shell not unlike Smarties or M&Ms.

I was so intrigued, I really had to try them.

They've got a distinct black licorice flavour, so if you don't like black licorice, you should probably back away right now. Personally, I love black licorice. Licorice allsorts? Those are my go-to whenever I get a craving for licorice. Candy coated fennel actually reminds me a lot of those, but instead of being chewy and overly sweet, they're crunchy and taste more refreshing than the candy.

It took a bit of searching, but I learned from these sources that they're called mukhwas and are most commonly served in south asian restaurants as a sort of after-dinner mint. They're supposed to help freshen your breath and aid in digestion after a meal.

I want to add thirst quencher to the list, too. I found that chewing a few of them felt as though I'd taken a few sips of water and that feeling lasted for some time after. I just wasn't as thirsty as I usually am (which is hard to achieve since I'm always thirsty). That's definitely better than gum since gum initially fixes my thirst but it never lasts.

They're also a little healthier than any gum or mint you could buy. And don't even get me started on how pretty and colourful and uplifting they are when it's so grey outside.

Naturally, I wanted to be able to have access to these amazing seeds anywhere I go, so I did what any sane person would do. I bought a TicTac box, dumped out the Tacs and filled it with fennel seeds. And then I peeled off the Tic Tac label and made my own label cuz I'm insane like that.

I really want to say that making the label was a breeze, but it took a lot of figuring for me. You can make your own a lot easier if you start with plain sticker paper. Then all you really need to do is shrink a photo down to the size of a Tic Tac label (I found dimensions here), add some words through Picnik, print, cut out, and stick it on (this project turned out so cutely, it was really hard for me to eventually break the seal).

The only sticky paper I had was in the form of 30 label mailing sheets (the address kind), so I had to use their dimensions and specify where the image had to be printed on the paper in my photo program. I definitely wanted the picture to end up on one whole sticker instead of half of the picture on one and the other half on another.

I didn't realize it as I was doing it, but this project would be really awesome for party favours. Instead of using fennel, you could leave the Tic Tacs in the box or use some other small candy that fits your theme. The Tic Tac label peels off so easily you don't even have to use Goo Gone (that's really the best thing about this whole project. I thought I'd be sitting around all day waiting on the label to come off). The hardest part (aka as the best part cuz you get to be creative and artsy) is making the personalized label -- happy birthday, congratulations, you get the idea.

My little box is just for me and is going to be great in my purse instead of gum.

I got a 100 g bag of candy fennel for $1.59. One 18 g box of Tic Tacs is $1.19. So I could fill approximately three or four Tic Tac boxes with that bag (the size of each candy is obviously quite different). And the best part (I think) is that this really isn't candy. You're only going to need a pinch at a time, so in terms of lasting longer than a conventional mint (we will eat those Tic Tacs like candy), fennel's definitely got a leg up.

If you wanted sugar free, I think it would also be cool to buy plain fennel seeds. They'd taste exactly the same except there'd be no candy crunch or pretty colours. But come on! You can't pass on the pretty colours!

jumping on the bandwagon

Remember how I wanted to bake donuts as a mini Dragon Age treat for Idle Husband's office? Well, after testing my fifth and final recipe (one that made exactly 3.5 donuts, I kid you not), I decided to scrap that idea altogether and make some generic cookies. At least I'd be able to whip out a large number of them with ease.

And then I saw the oreo baked into a chocolate chip cookie and yes. I had to go to there. Not because we're oreo lovers (if we're buying cookies, we're definitely not buying oreos) but because it was a novelty. See, at first I thought I might do bacon chocolate chip cookies. Just so I could get away with doing something simple while still impressing with crumbled bacon. But then I realized that if I put bacon into a cookie, there was probably a pretty good chance Idle Husband wouldn't even take the cookies to work. He'd squirrel them away all for himself.

The oreo idea seemed like the safe choice since neither of us will dip into the oreo bag unless we're really desperate and the effort to make something for his staff would still remain relatively low. So I thought, yeah. Let's do that.

I spent some time reading a review and comments here, and I learned a couple of things. First, eating the humongous cookie, oreo, cookie cookie was like going into a sugar coma; second, I wasn't really cool with making 24 gigantic super cookies; and finally, the chocolate chips overwhelmed the oreo taste (that wouldn't usually be a bad thing in my book). Someone in the comments suggested mini oreos which made me think mini chocolate chips and so I figured I'd probably be able to get more cookies out of the dough if I did it that way.

I used the original recipe instead of my own perfectly delicious chocolate chip cookie recipe just because I couldn't remember whether my recipe was prone to spreading or not. I found the original recipe to be good. I mean, typically tasting like a chocolate chip cookie. My dough turned out a little dry which made it frustrating to wrap each oreo, but I think that was partly due to my KitchenAid. (I recently discovered you can adjust your mixer head, so I've been fiddling around with it as it's always had a little trouble getting the bottom ingredients mixed in. I last adjusted it for the whisk and I guess I have to do it differently for the paddle.)

I baked them for 15 minutes, but I wish I had underbaked them by a couple minutes or so. Mine are crunchy and equal in crispness to the oreo, so I can't really notice a textural difference between the two.

We discovered that the softness comes back with a quick 5 minute stint in the toaster oven on toast. They are 100% better warm and soft.

I did use the mini oreo idea, so I got 48 perfectly regular sized cookies out of the dough. But now that I've tasted it, I think it's definitely better to use double-stuffed oreos. To keep them regular sized, I would cut them in half or in quarters. Unless there're double-stuffed mini oreos somewhere out there, you're not going to taste the filling at all.

I also reduced the chocolate chips to 1/2 cup and chopped them up a little in my food processor. I get a slightly chocolatey, slightly oreo-y taste to the cookie, neither flavour is overwhelming. (To be honest, to hell with the oreo flavour. I'd rather have more chocolate.)

If you want to do your own experiment (for the good of humanity, of course), check out the original recipe.