a handy printable guide to eating in Alberta!

It was brought to my attention that we don't, in fact, eat like college students. We eat like a married couple, fat and happy. Which, I conceeded, makes a lot of sense. Back in our bachelor days, we were both considerably...uh smaller, and that probably had a lot to do with the fact that both of us would forget to eat. Well, maybe I'm just speaking for myself here. I highly doubt Idle Husband would ever forget to eat.

A normal week would see me eating a very sparse breakfast (like a granola bar), yogurt and an apple for lunch (if I remembered to bring it), and usually I would get working on assignments or practicing at night and all of a sudden, it'd be 9 p.m. and I'd think, oh. I forgot about supper. Oh well, I'll eat tomorrow. Seriously. It's not exactly healthy per se, but it was a really good way to lose weight. From what I know of Idle Husband's diet, he would usually buy a lot of takeout, mostly pizza, that he'd eat throughout the week coupled with whatever he could scrounge up from the kitchen at work. And that's it.

Perhaps we should go on our previous bachelor diets instead of this new fangled idea of eating healthy meals every day and having homemade baked goods in the house.

Things that irritated me today that I wanted to write an entire blog post about but then decided not to because that would be mean and fight-inducing and catty and bitchy and eye-rolly and oh-no-you-didn'ty and...well, you get the point. Unfortunately for you, I still can't seem to let it go enough to write a completely different post, so I'll just quickly mention it now:

- people who are snobby about restaurant seafood quality when they live on the prairies.

Just so you know (and feel free to print it off as a handy guide), here's what we can grow rather successfully on the prairies (in alphabetical order and italicized for what we're most famous for):

• beef
• buffalo
• chicken
• ostrich
• pork
• sheep

Here's what we can't grow on the prairies:

• pretty much everything that lives in the ocean.

So in conclusion, if you want to guarantee you get the best meal possible from the majority of restaurants (shitty or otherwise) in this province, you should probably pick the meal we're well known for growing. Otherwise, you can pack your things and move to B.C. or the maritimes, thankyouverymuch and spare me the continual "oh this seafood is too small!" and "oh this seafood isn't fresh!" and (my personal favourite) "oh this seafood is terrible AND it cost me $17.99 AND just LOOK at this measly portion!" posts because I've really had it up to here with it.

Writing this ended with me laughing my ass off, actually. I just thought of something. He's originally FROM B.C. or the maritimes, isn't he?! ISN'T HE?! ahahaha! I know it. You are. It explains everything. It. Explains. Everything.