Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Oh, drab Wednesday

Normal Life Greek Joke
Ok, I suppose this isn't really a "normal life" Greek joke, but I'm trying to throw out some random post-its I have laying around and it was on one of them. Hey, if I've forgotten it up till now, there's a chance I'll forget it forever if I throw the post-it away without mentioning it.

You've seen the movie The Golden Compass, right? You know, the one with Nicole Kidman and their souls (I guess you can call it) walk around in the form of an animal and there's talking polar bears? Ok, well, I'm hoping you have cuz otherwise this won't make a stitch of sense.

Anyhoo, there's a device in the movie called an alethiometer. Apparently this device tells the truth and only one person in the movie can decipher it. It's pretty damn important in the scheme of things. So we're watching the movie, and Idle Husband turns to me and says, elethiometer (note: it's said more like this than with an 'a' sound) is basically like saying idiotmeter because elethio is Greek for idiot.

the idiotmeter

So here's this important device that's supposed to be telling the truth about people, things, whatever, but it feels (even more) bogus (than it should) because it's secretly called an idiotmeter. I guess you can look at it two ways. The person reading it is an idiot or it only measures idiots. Either way it's pretty suspect.

On an unrelated note:
I guess there's a lot of buzz over Apple's new iPad, but I wasn't aware of it until IH complained about it.
Firstly, this is the WORST NAME OF A PRODUCT IN THE HISTORY OF PRODUCT NAMES EVER. Honestly, I really can't get over the word "pad." It makes me think of lady hygiene products and that's so not cool. (and I'm not the only one)
Secondly, it seems to be a large, awkward version of the iTouch. Features include turning it whichever way you want and it adjusts. Wow. That's, like, so, like, um...we've seen that before.
Thirdly (and kinda off topic), who the hell dresses Steve Jobs? Honestly. He makes a kazillion dollars (that's a guesstimation) and he can't afford a stylist? In what era has too-large-for-you washed denim jeans and a tucked in black turtleneck (who looks good in those?!) been the vogue thing to wear? I could get it if he were actually stuck in a decade -- hey, I'm Steve Jobs and bell bottoms work for my figure! -- but I just don't get this look. Just the fact that this guy, in his baggy washed denim jeans and terrible black turtleneck sells a product that seems to define the "cool hipster indie geek" persona is so super backward and weird to me. It's a cool product sold by an uncool man who's oddly accepted by all the cool kids. FYI: this wouldn't happen in any other situation except this one. Ever. Also, I'm not going to spend that much money on an electronic gadget before first dressing myself. And that should really be everyone's motto.

For interests sake:
I'm going to start using Jay Leno as a way to describe someone who gives you something and then later wants it back.
possible usage: "You want that picture back?! You're such a Jay Leno!!"
I'm already using Jim Belushi as an expletive.
actual event: [after banging my finger between the wall and the vacuum cleaner] "Jim Belushi!!" (it's really important to emphasize the Jim part)

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